Pinkie Pie's Pain
by Hagisage
Summary: Pinkie always seems like such a happy pony, but what is she hiding inside? Afterall, it's the ones who smile the most that have endured the worst pain.


"You're adopted"

"W-what...?"

Blood slowly trickled down the young pink mare's leg as memories stung the inside of her head like a thousand angry hornets.

"You wanted to know why you were always treated differently than your sisters...Well, Pinkamina, you're adopted. You weren't ours." the voice of Pinkie's father rang clearly in her memory, as though he was still standing over her as he was that day. The memory almost made her cringe as much as it did then.

"B-But...How..? Why?" Pinkie's eyes were wide with shock. This was obviously not the answer she expected. "I-if you're not my parents...Then...What happened to.."

"They died when you were young." Her father responded, "You were just a young filly and there was nobody else to care for you, so your mother and I took you in."

Pinkie's head spun. How could this have happened? How did she never see? It was so obvious. All this time, she had been so different than the rest of her family. She was a technicolor pony in an otherwise grayscale world. Of course it would make sense that she never belonged there at all. Of course this was why she never seemed to receive the approval her sisters always did from their parents.

"What happened to them?" her tone was now lower, her emotions clouded by shock.

"Well, Pinkie...Your parents were very much like you...Their special talents were both partying, but not the kind of partying you enjoy." Her father stepped closer to the window and gazed out, seemingly lost in thought. "No...They enjoyed a very dangerous lifestyle...They drank and smoked things no pony ever should, and did not care what their...Erm...Recreational activities, could lead to. In fact, that's how you came to be."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER TELL ME?" Pinkie snapped, hot tears spilling down her cheeks. She'd finally had enough."Why did you keep all this from me? Why did you take me in and then treat me like I was less than your own fillies?"

"Because we wanted you to be better than your parents." her father replied calmly. "We knew you would always be different, but we hoped if we were strict with you, you would choose a better lifestyle. I would say we made the right choice."

Pinkie couldn't speak. She only choked as more hot tears spilled out. How could he be so calm about this? How could he feel he was right, even after admitting to her that her entire life was a lie? She ran to her room, sobbing into her pillow until nightfall, until she could secretly pack her things and leave without anyone noticing. This was no place for her, it never was. She would have to find someplace that was, whereever that might be. With a heavy heart, she set out on her trip that would eventually lead her to Ponyville, her straight mane covering her tear-filled eyes.

Another sharp pain in her flank snapped Pinkie back to reality, blood glistening in the tips of her mane that dragged on her fresh, open wound, hanging down straight as they did that night. With a knife gripped in her teeth, she continued the mutilation on herself, digging the blade in deeper. Winter Wrap Up wouldn't be for awhile, and winter clothes covered up any injuries. By the time she would have to show her flank, her soft pink fur would have covered the scars, like it did so many times before. Nobody ever had a clue.

"No! NO!"

New voices screamed in her memory as the blade dragged on.

"No! Please stop! This isn't right!" She gazed up in terror at the large colt that had her pinned down to her own bed.

"Why not, Pinkie? You said you loved me..." He glared down at her, pressing her down harder. She gasped in pain.

"You..You're hurting me..." She whimpered.

"Just like you hurt me by saying no." He was her first coltfriend. The first male she had ever thought she loved, and now, the first male that was going to take more than Pinkie had to give. "I told you I would do anything for you, Pinkie...ANYTHING! And I THOUGHT I would get the same thing back! But apparently I was wrong...You're not the mare I thought you were!" He spat as his free hoof collided with Pinkie's face.

Pinkie just shook and whimpered in terror. There was no way out, no place to escape. He was twice her size and probably three times her strength. All she could do was tremble and hope it would be over fast.

"Now...I'm going to teach you not to EVER cross me again!"

"P-Please...Please no...Oh please no..." She cried in vain, already feeling that it was too late. "Please...Please..."

"Please..." Pinkie's voice echoed in a high pitched tone choked with tears and pain. The blade of the knife dug in yet again in a second pass, tearing at her flesh, going deeper and deeper. Fresh blood trickled down her leg as the shock reached every extremity in her body. A third pass, and the young mare finally dropped the knife, curling up into the fetal position, her whole body shaking. She trembled at first, then broke into almost violent shivering. She felt cold without feeling cold. She felt all the pain in her heart feel as though it was beginning to fester and infect every other part of her, eating her alive. And then suddenly, she felt a warm sensation. The shivering stopped, her emotions were dulled. Her hair bounced back to its usual curl as the endorphins kicked in, numbing all the bad.

In a flash, Pinkie got to her hooves and began cleaning up the mess she'd made. She cleaned the fresh wounds on her flank and bandaged them before putting on a nice, cozy bath robe. She rinsed the blood off of the knife, then bounced down to the Sugar Cube Corner kitchen to return it. Nobody would ever suspect what went on that night, and that was just the way she liked it.

"Come on everypony, smile smile smile!" she sang as she bounced through the house. "Cause all I really need is a smile smile smile!"


End file.
